if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
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