Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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