is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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