I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
