Where did you get a picture of my penis
Duck Duck Cougar?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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