I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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