Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
