ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
