Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Boobs are out for the taking
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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