i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My vagina is officially offended.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
