He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize