Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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