im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize