About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
