I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
