Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
