I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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