I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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