tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
