Christians are straight up FREAKS
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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