and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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