You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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