did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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