ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Come share oat with me in your robe
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
