A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
