I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This is my gift to your gina
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
