I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
