Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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