It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
