Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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