i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
