just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
