the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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