so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
