Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
