It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
