woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
