Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
