So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
