I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
