This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
