Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize