Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
