I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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