my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
