oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Houston, we have a blender
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
