I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
