Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize