Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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