mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
