If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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