My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
where are you?
Hypothermia
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize