you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
