This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize