More tranny stories later!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
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