It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
