Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dick very happy bro
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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