The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
