can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dick very happy bro
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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