Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
