bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize