I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
