We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
accomplished twins. life is a go
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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