ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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