I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
