Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
