I'm lost and stupid without you.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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