I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize