you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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