I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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