the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
