i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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