i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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