Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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