i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
