everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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